Pon Farr
by Rine Wolve
Summary: A play upon the connection Spock shares with Nyota Uhura and what would happen if they mind-melded when the former was on the verge of Pon Farr. Think of it as the unofficial version of what actually happened in his room (instead of the "leave me alone, human" scene in the IDW comics series After Darkness).
1. Chapter 1

_I would first like to state that I honestly think, although vulcan Pon Farr is surely a source of amusement for some, that it sucks for the character-type-person in question, namely Spock. It's not funny or fair to have been programmed at age seven to react, when the time comes, to a single being in the entire Universe, whom you have to mate… or else you die of blood fever. I'm glad the franchise decided that vulcans should deem that practice obsolete. Did they had to have their planet destroyed before they realized that is not freakin' logical? _

_Disclaimer: the characters are not mine. Also, I've used lines from the original Star Trek series, episode "Amok Time". These are:_

_Bones: "Jim, when I suggested to Spock that it's time for his routine checkup, your logical, unemotional First Officer said: 'You will cease to pry into my personal matters, doctor, or I shall certainly break your neck!'_

_Jim: "Spock said that?!"_

_Without further ado, this is a play upon the connection Spock shares with Nyota Uhura and what would happen if they mind-melded when the former was on the verge of Pon Farr. Think of it as the unofficial version of what actually happened in his room (instead of the "leave m alone, human" scene)._

_This happens before the events in IDW's comics series Star Trek "After Darkness". So, don't ask me to continue it; just buy the comics, or read the reviews. _

_Rated T for suggestive scene._

Pon farr

"Lieutenant Uhura, personal log.

I'm worried about Spock. He's been acting strange towards me.

For the last two weeks, I've only seen him on deck, if I stayed on my shift longer, or if I came earlier. It makes me wonder if he's not doing the double shifts on purpose to avoid me. We've only had dinner once, about one week ago, in his quarters and I wanted to watch a movie… during which he fell asleep, although it was a really good one. I didn't dare to wake him. He looked really tired, human tired: head tilted back on the couch, arms hanging down, mouth slightly opened. I've watched him for a while in a daze, not knowing what to think, then tiptoed out of the room. He apologized the day after and promised he'd make it up to me. But since then, he's only been into working, studying and meditating, even more as before. And he spends an awful lot of time in the gym, too, like he's got pent up feelings to release.

I know there's something bothering him, that he's not telling me about. That's why he has been avoiding prolonged touching –he's only kissed me briefly keeping his hands at bay- so as not to let me inside his mind. Not even a smooch, not even a cuddle. He's never been lust driven, and I'm not complaining, but this is cold even by vulcan standards.

I don't need mind-melding to know there's something wrong with him. I do have my female intuition. I suspect it has to do with the loss of his planet… and his mother. That must have been terrible. He hasn't shared those feelings with me, but I know how they must affect him. I've seen him losing it and almost killing Jim on account of it.

Or maybe he's not into me anymore. But why? What did I do? I thought we were great and I know he felt the same. Maybe he's dating someone else. But who? It took me a lot of guts to admit my feelings for him; who, besides me –or a vulcan lady-, could be mad enough to hit on a vulcan male? I mean, that's asking for it… and I'm specifically thinking about our arguments… that I never win, unless I go crazy on him. And even then, he just calls my approach irrational, or illogic, and it's his upper hand all over again.

This has gotta stop. Enterprise has only just begun its five-year mission; and I know he's a first officer and all, but what about us? 'Cause if this is how it's gonna be, I won't stand for it.

I've given him space. And I've been patient and supporting of his behavior, thinking there must be some logical vulcan explanation to it… which I honestly can't wait to hear, because, one way or another, I'm gonna get it out of him. I know he's getting off his shift in an hour and I've asked for a replacement for mine, so… we'll see what happens."

* * *

><p>As she stood outside the door to his quarters, Nyota remembered the first time she did that, back at the academy, when Spock was still her Instructor and she was just a cadet with a huge crush on him. The scenario had changed since then: they had been a couple for almost two years now and they had become very close. Although they hadn't got the chance to meet privately lately, when they did, it was a total union of mind, body and soul. She never got that from a human. Nyota cherished that vulcan trait and didn't want to lose it.<p>

She pushed the buzzer to his door. There was no answer. She pushed it again. Could he be sleeping already? Or, maybe he was meditating. No, she decided to keep on buzzing, even if it meant disturbing him.

She had her finger pressed down, when the door whooshed open. And there he was, in the middle of the room, his hands clasped behind his back. Nyota's jaw dropped and instantly felt aroused: he must have been taking a shower, for he was in his bathrobe, barefoot. He unfolded his hands on seeing her. His voice sounded strange and harsh.

"Oh. It's you. Has something happened? Why aren't you on duty?"

She came in, uninvited.

"Close." Spock uttered and the door whooshed shut behind her.

Inside, it was even warmer than Spock usually kept it. It must have been hot even for him. It was odd. Nyota went towards him. Something was unusual about the entire scene. While the everyday Spock would simply wait for her in a composed manner, he seemed to be fretting: he rubbed his fingers together and blinked repeatedly. As she planted herself in front of him, Nyota noticed it only then, that he looked like he had lost weight and sleep; his cheekbones had become pretty prominent and there were dark rings around his brown eyes, that had a reddish tint, while his eyebrows were even more tilted towards one another.

There was something aggressively sensual about him. His usually severe and controlled posture now seemed tense, like a spring about to uncoil. He looked dangerous. His forehead was bare, as the ruffled, wet hair refused to stay in the tamed bangs. Although she felt confused and worried, Nyota also thought she had never seen Spock as sexy as he was right then.

She looked wonderingly into his eyes. He couldn't hold her stare.

"What's eating you, Spock?" and she tried to cup her palm over his cheek.

Spock retreated carefully and at the same time fast, but not fast enough for Nyota not to notice he was hot.

"Oh, my God!" and Nyota rushed her hand towards his forehead. "You're burning up!"

He caught her hand and lowered it.

"I'm fine!" he said firmly, through his teeth.

Nyota had never heard him speak like that to her. He treated her like a foe that he was about to attack.

"You're definitely not fine! You're running a fever…"

"I said I'm fine!" he shouted, to which Nyota started. "If I have needed your help, I would have asked for it!"

He turned his back to her and strode towards the wall, just to walk away. He stopped, confused, then changed direction towards the couch. He stopped again and turned to Nyota. He had a desperate look in his eyes.

"I am sorry! Please, Nyota! You should leave."

Something in his behavior gave off an air of a cornered animal. And that's exactly how Nyota approached him.

"Spock. You're scaring me a little. But I'm not going anywhere. What's going on with you? Can't you talk to me about it?"

Spock gasped and nodded his head, with a strange smile.

"No! Of all the people… not to you!"

"Why?" she was now in front of him again, with a hurt expression in her big, golden eyes. "Why not to me?"

He paced back as she drew nearer to him. The couch's arm stopped him from backing up further, while Nyota was still drawing nearer. She reached for his cheek again and he tilted his head back, and his body followed and Nyota's body followed his and, before they knew it, they both fell over the arm, onto the couch, Spock on his back and Nyota over him, on his chest. Spock caught her carefully into his arms, to prevent her from falling further.

He suddenly held her tighter, differently than he ever did before, pressing her body against his, almost violently. Nyota felt it; he was usually very delicate with her, but this was a passionate and primitive embrace. It filled her with a desire she couldn't understand or resist. She looked into his eyes and there were flames in them. He looked at her like a hungry wolf.

She kissed him. He responded and that's when hundreds of mixed thoughts and sensations began pouring into her, making her dizzy. He kissed her away, running his hands all over her body, unstoppable and unable to stop, insatiable. She didn't even realize when he got her out of her dress. His skin was hot and she could feel his adrenalin rush in her own body, while his thoughts were a jumble of ancestral cries she couldn't distinguish. His blood was boiling and she could feel it.

Nyota knew in a corner of her mind that it wasn't completely right, but she couldn't stop, either, a primordial desire to mate possessing her. He bit her lip and she bit him back. He moaned, which was most unusual for him, but it drove Nyota crazy. She took his hands and turned them over his head, while she mounted him and kissed and bit his neck.

But then something happened. As their hands kept clasping, the thoughts and images began to be clearer and clearer: Vulcan scenery, two children touching fingers, unknown vulcan words, chimes ringing. Then the thoughts united into a name. And with it, came the striking image of a very beautiful vulcan woman, Nyota didn't know, but the words 'wife' and 'mate', accompanied it. Next, Amanda Grayson fell into an abyss, while a hand reached powerless towards her. Finally, planet Vulcan collapsed into itself and disappeared into nothingness, while confusion, pain, anger, desperation, all at once, filled Nyota's heart. She gasped and let go of Spock's hands.

She jumped up to her feet. The room was spinning and her head was buzzing. She felt hot and couldn't breathe. Grabbing her head with her hands, she fell to her knees and released a scream of pain, at the top of her lungs, then fainted.


	2. Chapter 2

Nyota opened her eyes.

"T'Pring!" she whispered.

Doctor McCoy turned to her, glad to see her awake.

"Ah, there you are! Are you… ok?" and he joined his pause with a snicker; behind him, the nurse could hardly retain a guffaw. Bones reprimanded her with a look and said: "Inform Commander Spock and Captain Kirk that Lieutenant Uhura is awake."

Nyota growled softly, as she tried to understand where she was. She was in sick-bay and Bones was giving her the weirdest stare. She was also almost naked, under the cover, panties and bra only. Instinctively, she drew the cover to her chest.

"Doctor? What happened?"

The nurse tried to guffaw again and Bones signaled her she should go.

"I don't know, Lieutenant. You've had an… inexplicable adrenalin rush and fainted. Don't you remember anything?"

Nyota frowned, but then suddenly her eyes went bigger and she felt her cheeks burning up. In a second, she felt warm all over, as she was remembering more and more of what had happened. Finally, the name came back to her head again, together with the image of the unknown vulcan woman. She felt enraged as the word 'wife' kept bleeping in her mind, although she didn't quite grasp what was going on. Could Spock have… omitted telling her a serious thing as having been… married?

"Where's Commander Spock?" she asked and she sat up. "Um… doctor" she added. "You think you could give me something to wear?"

"Sure, Lieutenant." and he handed her standard sick bay scrubs. "As for our First Officer, I think he's in his quarters, hiding. I know I would be." Bones snickered again.

"Doctor…" Nyota began, but he interrupted her.

"Federation surely has never had a vulcan officer, slash genius scientist, in his bathrobe running down a starship corridor, before. And with a half naked lieutenant in his arms, he was afraid he had smooched to death."

"Doctor, Spock…"

"I mean, if I were a vulcan, and a prestigious First Officer, and an interplanetary ambassador's son, I would surely be out of my bangs with shame right about now."

"Bones… would you please listen."

"But I gotta say, I'm impressed! Jim and I never thought the bastard had in him. We were even doubting he's got a… you know." and the doctor gestured with a loose arm south of his body. "We thought you guys only did it through your hands."

"Bones!" Nyota shouted. "Stop joking around. As a Federation doctor I'm sure you were familiar with vulcan anatomy. But that's not the point!"

"You're right! It wasn't about vulcans, but Spock in particular…"

"Stop it, really! This is serious! I think Spock may be sick."

"I bet you do!"

"No, Bones. Please, listen. He was running a fever when I saw him. And he was acting weird. He… shouted at me."

"Well, yeah, that is rare for him. But how did you end up making out if he shouted at you and you thought he was sick."

Nyota lowered her eyes.

"I… I can't explain it. I guess I went crazy when I touched him. He has prevented me from touching him the past couple of weeks. I felt something very disturbing when I did. Like he was an animal. And, please, don't give me that look again. I also felt fear."

"Fear?"

"Yes. Fear of dying. And a bunch of other negative feelings. I saw the destruction of his planet through his eyes."

Bones walked through the bay.

"You two share a unique bond, I must say. Come to think of it, Spock did look very disturbed when he brought you. I've ignored it, because I was focusing on you. He came through the door, carrying you and… yes, he shouted at me, too, asking for help. And he seemed scared and angry. 'What did you do to her?' I shouted back. And he said: 'I have initiated intercourse with her, when I was out of balance.'… which was rich, I must say. I just had to share it with Jim…"

Nyota looked at him, reprimanding. She thought about how embarrassed discreet Spock must have felt uttering those words, and of the whole situation.

"Anyway. He stayed by me as I examined you, but he drove me mad with his fidgeting, so I ordered him out. Nothing was wrong with you, by the way. You simply… fell asleep with exhaust. So I let you sleep."

"Look, you must give him an examination. I think he's got some vulcan condition. He may even be in pain."

"Even if it were so, you know him: he won't talk about it. He's never allowed me to give him a physical. But, hey, take it from me, any condition that turns guys into animals is a blessing for the ladies."

"Uhh! I gotta talk to Jim about this. Maybe he'll take me serious."

"OK. OK. I'll look into it. The nurse has tried hailing him and he's not responding. So I'll go to his quarters myself."

"Be careful."

Bones raised an eyebrow.

"Don't worry. He's not my type."

Nyota sighed. "Poor Spock. With friends like Jim and you, he doesn't need enemies."

Beyond being worried, she was asking herself who this T'Pring… wife was and why hadn't Spock ever mentioned her, or revealed her through their mind-melds. Nyota felt cheated: there was nothing Spock didn't know about her, she had concealed him nothing. She had always thought it was mutual. Boy, was she wrong!

"Oh, Spock…" she sighed again, to herself. "Am I losing you?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Jim, would you please come outside Spock's quarters? I think he's lost it!"

"Bones? Where's Uhura?"

"Uhura's fine! We're both here. Would you come already?"

Captain Kirk got out of his quarters in a hurry and ran towards Spock's. When he arrived there, dr. McCoy and lieutenant Uhura were waiting outside the door, with worried stances. Nyota seemed more affected.

"Are you alright?" Jim asked her, without being able to retain a smile.

"Captain… " Nyota started, but McCoy interrupted her.

"Jim! You gotta talk to him."

"What's wrong? Did he try to… initiate it with you, too?" Jim smirked.

"Oh, I'm afraid this is past being funny, Jim! I've never seen him like this."

"Really? Well, what did he do?"

"I came into his quarters and I suggested to him that it's time for his routine checkup. Then, your logical, unemotional First Officer said, and I quote: 'You will cease to pry into my personal matters, doctor, or I shall certainly break your neck!'"

Jim's jaw dropped open. "Spock said that?!"

"And he threw a relic at me, shouting: 'Get the hell out!' And I think he's smashing stuff around right now. Jim, he really looked like shi…!"

"Spock?!" Nyota exclaimed.

He had appeared in the doorway, holding on to the wall, a grimace of pain on his face.

"Captain…" he panted "Jim… lock me away. I can't be seen like this."

Nyota rushed to help him.

"NO!" he shouted. "Don't touch me!" and then he curled down in pain.

"Bones!" Jim cried, while he ran one of Spock's arms around his neck.

"I got him!" McCoy helped him from the other side. "My God, you're burning up! It's sick-bay for you, pointy!"

"No! Lock… me away. Jim…"

"Don't be ridiculous, Spock. You need help! Whatever this is, we've got you."

Nyota followed the party, her eyes almost in tears.

Lieutenant Uhura's personal log.

"I feel awful. Spock's condition is deteriorating. He's in severe pain which human analgesics can't sooth. Bones fears he might even die of blood infection in a few days if he doesn't… well, if we don't… if we don't take him to New Vulcan. Apparently, vulcan males are affected by a condition known as Pon Farr, which translates to "mating time". It appears every seven years. On short, they have to return to their planet and… mate, or they will die. After examining him, Bones said that it's like huge amounts of adrenalin are pumped into his blood stream constantly, which will eventually lead to vital systems failure, if he doesn't cool off.

It wouldn't have been a problem if Spock were free to choose a mate but… well, it seems like a sick joke, and I honestly have to reconsider my veneration of vulcan society. When Spock was only seven, he has been mentally bonded to a vulcan girl called T'Pring, by their parents, so that, when they're adults, they would be attracted to each other and seek each other out. Spock hasn't mentioned her to me because he thought he would be spared of this, given his human heritage; he had been spared two times already. But I think the stress of losing his planet has triggered it.

He's also explained that Pon Farr is the condition that strips vulcans of the logic they pride themselves on, so they shroud it in ritual and seldom speak of it, even among themselves. And I don't know what's more heartbreaking: the fact that he has been bonded to that T'Pring, so that only she can get him out of this state, by… mating with him, or the fact that Spock doesn't want to give into that urge, because he… because of me."

Nyota's tears welled up in her eyes. Translucid beeds rolled down her cheeks. She had never been more aware of how much Spock loved her. She felt awful she had ever suspected anything else.

"I don't care what he has to do! I don't want him to die, because I might feel hurt, or jealous. It's not like he has a choice.

I love you, Spock. I always will. No matter what happens.

We'll get you to New Vulcan."


End file.
